College


Now that the end of my college process is approaching, and there’s only about a month left for me to finalize my applications (ahhhh), I’ve been thinking a lot about what going to college is actually going to look like.

College, in every aspect that I’ve thought about it up to this point in my life, is a place that you get to. An aspiration, a motivation for working hard in school, something to stress about. It’s not a place that you actually are. But as January 1st looms closer, my thoughts about college are less about ACT scores and supplements and more about the next four years of my life.

One thing I’ve realized that shocked me is that this is (probably) the last year of my life that I’ll be fully living at home. I’m sure I’ll be back for holidays and the summer for the next couple years, but it won’t be the same. I’ve gotten so used to the house that I’ve grown up in being the place that I live: various aspects of my childhood still scattered around my room, my parents being downstairs when I wake up in the morning, the same view out my window every night. Next year I’m going to wake up in a different bed every morning, eat different food, and be surrounded by different people. I’m excited for college, but it’s also kind of a scary thought.

Another, maybe less drastic, change is that I’m probably not going to drive a lot for the next few years. Most of the colleges that I’m applying to are small, so there’s no opportunity or even reason to have a car on campus. Since Sophomore year, Driver’s Ed and getting a permit and then license has been such a big topic, and I’ve grown to really enjoy driving and jamming out to music in my car. It’s something pretty trivial that I’m really going to miss next year.

I’m also going to be surrounded by entirely different people. Uni being such a small school, I’ve gotten accustomed to having classes with groups of familiar faces. I really enjoy spending time with the people in my class, and it’s weird that this is the last year that we’re all going to be in the same place. I’m also going to see my parents a lot less, something that they have become acutely aware of lately. My mom has called me almost in tears while vacuuming my room because it’s the last year I’ll be at home, and has decided that this year we needed a 12 foot tall Christmas tree because it’s my “last Christmas” (even though I’m fully planning to come back for the holidays for the foreseeable future).

I’m super excited for college, and also super excited to be done with the application process (juniors, it’s your turn soon!) but it’s been weird to think about all the ways, big and small, that my life is going to change next year.

Comments

  1. I totally relate to this. My parents are also super sentimental about this being my last year living at home. My brother often accusingly tells me that I'm leaving them all next year, which makes me feel really guilty. I also often think about the moment when my parents will drop me off at college and they will have to leave and I will stay. This makes me so sad to think about, even though I am excited for college. It's all really confusing.

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  2. I've thought about these things a lot. In fact, we've talked to each other about them! It really freaks me out sometimes when I'm driving around and I realize that I won't be driving as much when I'm in college. I thought that once I was done with applications (which I'm not yet even lol) then the stress would sort of fade but instead its slowly getting replaced with the fear of change and everything leaving. Spooky stuff

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